“Speak up”, she kept screaming but I couldn't.
“Speak up”, she screamed again, yet no words came out of my mouth.
I was mute - how could I tell her I didn't want to go to college to study medicine, that I wanted to become a youth counsellor? She would kill me. She worked tirelessly day and night for me. How could I break her heart by not doing the one thing she really required of me? I was so lost in my thoughts.
I was brought back by her voice, "speak up". I looked at her with all the strength in could muster and opened my mouth to speak up, "I don't want to study medicine".
She looked at me like I was mad.
“OK baby if you don't want to study medicine, you would study a medicine related course right, am I right?"
"No mama I want to be become a youth counsellor"
"You must be mad. Do you think I worked my whole life like a dog for you to be a youth counsellor? No I didn't, so you won't be one and that's final" And she walked away.
This couldn't end this way. She asked me to speak up and I would for just once, damn the consequences.
"Mama, no your word is not final because I’m sick of you pushing me around telling me what to do, picking my future ambitions for me. I am just tired. You plan everything. It's time for me to take responsibility for myself. You asked me to speak up and that's exactly what I am doing. I’m done letting you plan my life".
I felt so relieved after telling her. I felt like a burden had been lifted off my shoulders. I felt so free.