I Am Not Sorry

There will be a time in our lives where everything we try to hold together gets disintegrated. It was that point in my life where all the things which was supposedly to give me hope started falling apart.

I was forcefully admitted into the dream medical college of my mum and dad, whose only dream was to make me a doctor. Even before I could tell them what I really wanted to become in my life, I was already sitting in the classroom flipping the pages of a book which I don't even remember now. The girl who was topping her higher secondary had to miserably fail in the first week unit tests. The little hope I had within me was slowly vanishing as I attended test after test after test. And all I could do was to helplessly endure.

I had to dwell into depression. The more I tried to fix things, the more it slipped off. I was looking like a failure for all those who believed in me. At that point, I felt like I had the reached the threshold of my mental stability, I couldn't further pretend that I could take control of the situation. It takes an immense willpower and courage to stand against our loved ones and to make them understand of what we are going through. There were so many times where I built the courage to stand for me but for some reasons I wasn't able to.

But this time my courage was built by the amount of mental trauma I was going through. I finally broke my silence and spoke to them [my parents] about the depression I was going through. Of course, they pretended to understand and tried convincing me, but this time I took a stand for myself and I WAS NOT SORRY.

Every time I tried telling them my passion, they weren't ready to accept. So I discontinued my medical degree and joined the journalism course which I wanted to pursue. There were huge unsettled arguments and quarrels because of which I had to move out of my [parents’] home and find a home for myself in Mumbai. Obviously I was not happy with what it took for me to follow my passion, I wasn’t happy to fight with my family and make them feel heart-broken but I had to admit that a part of me felt relieved and happy like never before for the decision I made for myself.

I felt that I would never get back that happiness ever in my life again. I already felt like I had come closer to my achievement. After all parents aren't our enemies, all they want is to make us happier. Sometimes we’ve got to prove that they are wrong in some of the decisions they take for us. The decision I took for myself has not only made me strong but mature enough to break any obstacle that comes between me and my dreams.

Folks, the lesson I learnt was, our dreams are as stubborn as we are, if we aren't moving towards it, they too don't come towards us. But if we take a step forward, we will already feel that they are closer to us. Follow your dreams because if you can’t then who else can!

Oh hey!! I am a happy-go-lucky girl having the quirkiest ideas about the world and I try to pen them in an AvantGarde style.