I knew it was time to amass the fragments of my heartbeats, but no I didn't. "Am I ready? Am I courageous enough to do it? How will life be without this soul?"
These are questions that burgled the little peace left in my mind that I needed to make this decision.
I stood there, his stare weakening my knees, and the spark in his eyes begging me to stay, reminding me of how I might have looked that morning begging the Holy Spirit to stay with me.
"You have been here long, but no change, in any case, it has been negative. You have lost yourself in him, what now?", the soft yet firm voice, echoed louder in my bones than in my inner ears.
I thought I could fix him , I was wrong! My own emotions were in a fix. I thought I could heal him. Wrong, my own wounds of past were there glaring with rage in my heart.
My whole life was built around him. Wrongly I thought, it's only my feelings that were built around his pain! Pain that had deflated my self-esteem. His verbal punches made me stay, because I thought his heart was a scrapyard of his indescribable past and my love for him would blade it, wrong!
I left, he said I could not do life without him, wrong! How many of us stay in friendships, relationships, careers, schools, environments just because we think it's all we have? Deforming self awareness to no recognition of who we are, what our worth is and what we are meant for?
Apprehension crippling our vision of what could be on the other side. For how long have you been wrong?
I left! He is doing better, I am doing better.
But before now, I was wrong!