Sometimes life seems to be at a standstill.
There’s zero productivity, nothing substantial happening around you and no self-improvement. It seems like a never ending cycle of boredom where you want to do something but spend the days doing nothing. So many things arise out of this, frustration, anger, sometimes melancholy and self-doubt. The mind set of ‘I’m not good enough’ comes into light; since you aren’t doing a hundred percent work every day, you think you’ve lost efficiency. You force yourself to believe that you’ve wasted away so much time that could have been spent productively.
Guilt is an attribute felt by so many people in so many fields. Maybe you’re supposed to be studying right now but you’re reading this, maybe a lot of your work is unresolved but you’re watching re-runs of your favorite show, maybe you have errands to complete but you just can’t find the will to get work done. We spend so much time believing we’re feeling nothing, doing nothing when we’re doing so many little things together. We’ve trained our mind into believing that we have to be productive at every single waking moment. Sometimes I upset myself thinking about how it took me so long to come to the consensus that I don’t have to work myself to the brink of burning myself out just to receive a good outcome.
The reason I get upset over this is because I spent so much time being saddened over not making the best of everyday but right now, penning this down, I realize it’s better late than never. It’s okay to give yourself a break sometimes, it’s okay to not do anything when you have a stressful couple of days coming up, and it is OKAY to be lost in thought over something that might or might not happen. There is no limit to imagination and there is no restriction to it.
A lot of times, I force myself to not think about a situation I believe is never going to occur, but who’s the one to tell me it’s never going to happen? Who told me that I won’t get what I want? Who told me it’s impossible? In all probability, we make ourselves believe that it won’t happen, that our plans won’t work out. Doubt kills hope, something we keep doing on a daily basis. Even if there’s a slightest hope to something, don’t let go of it; hold on to it with the tightest grip and don’t let anyone take that away from you.
But at the same time, don’t raise your expectations to a fantasy that might break your heart. Don’t stop hoping for something but don’t depend yourself on that hope. Give yourself some time, some space and freedom to grow, grow as it wishes with no chains attached.
A seventeen-year-old who believes all her thoughts should be voiced. I often get myself into trouble because of that habit of mine. Everything is important enough to be spoken about if we have the right words and the right platform.