I feel really exasperated and shattered when I see any girl or woman suffering in a relationship, and by a relationship, I mean an official relationship, in engagement period or marriage. Engagement period I have specially mentioned, because as soon as a girl gets engaged, the boy and his family starts taking her as their possession or whatever. She is expected to say yes to each and every demand of the boy and his family too. Not gonna talk about the in-laws and their demands yet because today I wanna specifically talk about the abusive relationships.
￼And if I talk about the engagement relationship, I have seen so many girls going through mental and emotional torture as they're restricted to follow their own wills and wishes. They can't hang out with their friends, their social circle starts shrinking and they are made to follow the instructions of their so-called fiance in the name of possessiveness. In short, her own identity is completely destroyed and she is molded into his choice of mold. The time when they're both supposed to develop a mutual understanding, becomes totally a chaos. And unfortunately, no one takes it seriously!
In marriages, most of the women, especially in our society, are going through abusive relationships - not just physically but emotionally and psychologically. Pity is, we don't even talk about physical abuse let alone the other kinds of torture every other woman is bearing alone with no actually empathy or support. When a woman is beaten by her husband or any other family member, at least she has some sympathy of the people around her if no actual support. But when a woman is bashed, bullied, doubted, accused and harassed in her own home, by her own husband, no one tries to understand her condition and no one supports her.
If a woman speaks up in her defense or even tries to explain the truth, she is labeled as "zuban daraz" and then she is held responsible for urging her husband to use physical power. But no one actually tries to understand that there must be some reason that made her yell and scream because if she wouldn't, she would go deep into a depressing phase.
If a woman is forced to leave her dreams and wishes, if she is compelled to do the things that she doesn't want to do, if she's treated just like a caretaker and not as a human with her own identity, if she's bullied and her suggestions are never taken in any family matter, if she isn't gaining enough respect that she deserves - then she is in an abusive relationship and yes, I mean it!
And anyone who is telling her that she is just over thinking and there is no point of fighting against all these tiny things are doing no good to her. Don't pour in your unwanted advocacy to her, instead stand by your other fellow woman. If your brother is misbehaving with his wife, don't support him just because he is your brother, support her because she's a woman just like you. If you're a mother then never let your son mistreat and disrespect your daughter-in-law, consider her as a human being - if not your own daughter.
Let's bring the real change. Let's encourage another woman to be strong enough to take a stand for herself and her due rights. Let's make this world a little better place to live!