New Life: A Series

"When a woman cuts her hair, she's about to change her life" - Coco Chanel.

It's been a long hard start for me; you know starting a year the right way. No mistakes or errors; maybe - this was why I had devoted time starting perfect that I never started at all. Strange, huh? A person stuck in 2018 in the middle of March. Don't worry, I'm no longer stuck.

A year ago, my life was different. I didn't know what I wanted but it didn't matter because time was still on my side, and you should have seen me spontaneously going with life's flow. Now, I realize I'm no Julia Roberts! Life and it's reality has hit me.

I wouldn't say my life has changed because I cut my hair; I mean come on! I'm no superstitious person but then again my life did change.

Here I am on a plane miles away from home, relocating! What exactly had I thought taking a job that I am not even sure I can keep? Who was I trying to prove something to? Was it myself? Or family? Or Saleem? It'd sure be pleasant to show that good for nothing fool who I turned out to be. I mean I'm no longer the, "I'm sorry" type, whether I had made the mistake or not. I'm more of the "why doth my God try me with imbeciles" type!

Trust me I've had my shares of life's abuse; ups and downs and been walked all over by people just because I was scared of growing up and letting them know I deserved better. Wait, too fast? I'll take you back to how I got on this tiny plane exiting from a tinier tarmac and came to the conclusion that I didn't need anybody to be just fine.

It feels like a woke up a totally different person, maybe my life did change. A divine swap! Call it running from my problems, I call it new life! I deserve it. Songs to accompany your life: "The propeller beneath my wings" ; "Head above water" ; "Swimming pools" ; "Sweet architect", "Grace". The people here were ugly. All scabbed attitudes, crooked teeth and lack greasy ponytails and half done bangs. Languages that made it hard to communicate. Surprisingly, it didn't really bother me.

I was normal - Normal, that was what it was called right? Tired but not exhausted? Irritated but not incensed? Pleased but not ecstatic? Calm but not serene? I guess I've reached the equilibrium I've been hoping for, right?

I had been the supporting friend. "The glue", the one decisions were made for - the one with no say. I mean, everybody brought their problems to me and wanted me to appear perfect. I preferred doing the things people wanted, it was easier that way. You know to be liked rather than questioned…

To be continued

"To create is to breathe; if I can’t breathe, then I’m in trouble” - Illichi Green

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