Dear So Called Society

Dear So Called Society

Dear people:
It really bewilders me
That it didn't escape your notice
That I am "changed"
But what confuses me further is
Your blind eye towards
"Why I changed"

When I used to laugh blissfully
When my smile was from deep down within
When I use to chirp my heart out
When I was one innocent soul at peace
"Look at her irresponsible she is,
She has no idea how to behave like a girl"
Was what you people said

When my face turned blank
My eyes cold
And my words lost
When my smile was forced 
Amidst the chaos in my soul
"Egoistic bighead, man I bet she doesn't know what it means to be happy"
This time it was this..

If you really want me to be..
That typical person in between..
Sorry for disappointing u…

That thing is totally not me..
I am not made for limits..
I am not ur average person..
Every thing about me is in excess,.
Either I love u with all my might
Or u don't exist..
Nothing in between..

Maybe I'm not vulnerable 
             As I was..
Maybe I'm not selfless
             As I was..
Maybe I don't care
             As I did
Maybe my temper is on fire 
            As it never was..
Maybe sugarcoated words and crap doesn't have the same effect
              As it did..
Maybe I've picked on some traits 
             Once I despised..

But peeps..
It really amuses me how
You really expect me to be "that girl" 
I was two years back
Man.. Two years in ample to re-mould the entire world..
Why not a simple girl's life life?
Where were u all? All these time?
And now you search for the "once me"?
Seriously?? You gotta be kidding me

Every single person on earth..
Shall reach a point where
They cannot be that "them"any more..

Some incidents.. Some people.. Some words..
Do turn heart into stones..
Well I'm not an exception am I?

You've never walked on my shoes..
You've never seen things as I did
You've never felt that crumbling pain inside..
You've never experienced what its like to have
Waves of memories knocking you down at that moment you close your eyes..
You've never heard words I did..
You've never spent sleepless nights and exhausted mornings I've had..
So who the hell are you to judge??

         I am sorry..
You couldn't use me as before
         I am sorry
You can no longer Kick me as before
        I am sorry
You can no longer break me as before
        I am sorry
I am cold-hearted 
        I am sorry
My words aren't sweet anymore
       I am sorry
I don't put trust in people and stuff I used to
       I am sorry 
I don't care enough
       I am sorry
"I am no longer that COOL girl"

Maybe I am sorry.. maybe  I am not..

I don't want to slap you hard
I don't want to break your nose
I don't want to kick ur butt
I don't want to say"mind ur own crap"

Maybe I do want to..

I want to scream these out loud with a punch or two
When you ask in not-so innocent tone.
"How come you are changed?"

But all I manage is a fake smile 
With a nod "Maybe I'm.. maybe I'm not.."

Yours sincerely..
        That-one-weird-girl-you’re-so much-interested-in