Virginity Is Not A Flower

Virginity Is Not A Flower

I hate to begin my article like this because I believe I am not conformed to my religion or surrounding but it is important that I share this part of myself. I have been a Christian all my life, literally. Growing up, I went to church every Sunday and I have never had any problem following any principles until I joined college. After all, that is when self discovery really begins.

There is so much phobia around sex where I come from. It is a taboo to call a vagina by its name. No one talks about sex. They call it 'tabia mbaya' meaning 'bad manners'. Even on the rare occasions where they talk about it, they say all sorts of scary things to us. Like how the male penis bites. We believe them. Hilarious right?


The churches here don't do any better either. We are told women should not have sex till marriage. Why? Our young curious minds would appreciate more understanding. We are told that 'whores' don't make it to heaven. We are told that the female virginity is a flower.

Why do we have to be so different? Why are men congratulated for 'hitting it'. It's like a label of honor they wear around them. The more the 'casualties', the more the 'badges' pinned to their shirts. I say casualties because its unbelievable how men are prided in embracing their sexuality while women are shunned and stereotyped for it. Women here can never quite fit into society's description of perfect. Conservative women are too boring while the rest are too wild.

Stop shaming women into your idea of sexually acceptable. The darkness around sex should stop. Teach our women to handle lust, to make love, to use protection and contraceptives appropriately (children by choice only). And without forgetting, support all the women who choose to abstain. It is all up to them.

I have met so many women who are so different yet the same. Different in their upbringing, thoughts, personalities and ideas. Alike in their unquenchable urge to be acceptable to society. Let's make life easier for them.

Film producer and writer

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